Visas, Passports, Citizenship, and Chipmunk Cheeks??

The pros and cons of being South African? It's really cool to say, and hilarious to see the look on peoples faces, when they realize I'm from Africa, and I'm NOT black. The downside, is that it is becoming almost mission impossible to leave the U.S. Last week my travel agent informed me that as I am not an American citizen, I would need to go to the nearest German Consulate and apply for a visa. Americans don't have to have a visa. I do. Special, special me. So my mom and I got in our car and drove for five hours to the German Consulate. We arrived there and the German man at the counter said, oh no she cannot enter Germany unless she has a permanent residency visa before she gets there. Americans only have to apply for one after they arrive. From America, this process could take three months he says. I was supposed to leave this Sunday. So my mom flips out, and tells him we can't do that, so he tells us to sit down, and wait till all other customers leave, and then he will help. There were three men shifting through my paperwork all afternoon, and they were actually really helpful. Instead of sending the application via snail mail, they faxed to Germany on the spot. And they are fedexing my passport for the visa under diplomatic mail, so it will arrive in Germany on friday! And it will be shipped back to me as soon as possible. As early as next week! So now I was set to go. We got home and my mom and I realized that my green card expires in February, and unless I renew it or become a citizen, I won't be allowed back into America. So this morning, my mom and I went to the department of Homeland security, and they told me I was already a citizen, and to go and apply for an american passport. So now I am beyond confused! And I think everything will work out! Ohh and the chipmunk cheeks? I got my wisdom teeth removed on Monday, so I have had to do all of this with cheeks that are unnaturally puffy. Lovely lovely. Anyway thanks to the German consulate, and my mothers brains, I just might make it out of this country. Liebe immer,
Katherine