So. After a year of tears, trials and deliberations, its done. I am leaving tomorrow for Germany. I think I am excited, but I can't tell. The birds (NOT butterflies) in my stomach are going crazy. I hope I don't throw up. Today was pretty emotional, cause every time I looked at my mom or sister, I wanted to start crying, cause I know I'm going to miss them so much. Then this afternoon, I stopped by my youth group for a couple of minutes so I could say good bye to my best friend and a couple of other friends. I walk in excited to see them, cause I haven't seen anyone since school started. I gave my best friend a letter I wrote and talked to another friend as she read it. A couple of minuted later, we were walking into the bathroom with the two of them bawling their eyes out. I felt HORRIBLE. I hate seeing my friends cry like that. And what was even worse, I couldn't cry. I mustered up everything inside of me, but not a single tear. And I was really sad, and actually wanted to cry! But we kinda waddled out of the bathroom, because we were clinging to each other, the two of them crying, and they walked me to the door, and we said the official good bye there. One of the hardest things I have had to do. Ever. Naturally, the moment I walked out the door, I started bawling my eyes out, and I get in the car, and my mom gives me this look, that just makes me love her to pieces, and I cry even harder. I have basically been crying on and off again since seven. Not good. After a while, I came into the living room where my mom was watching the news and knitting a scarf (yes, a scarf, I think it's the cutest thing ever!!) and I move all the stuff next to here, and I just flop down next to here, and I am not afraid to admit I snuggled my mom. Sounds weird, but I felt like a little kid again, and it made me feel safer. Then my sister walks in with the laptop and plays one of my favorite songs, and we sing along to it, and my mom tells us we suck, so we just HAVE to sing another one! We play My Body by Young the Giant, and start dancing, and my mom is sitting there laughing her head off. It boosted my mood by a zillion points! I love my sister, cause she is the craziest person ever, but knows exactly what to do to make me happy. Anyway, I am all packed and ready to go tomorrow, but still majorly freaking out. Which I do think is normal. And my room is cleaner than it has been in months! Sitting here in the dark all alone, can't be good for my mental health, so I am going to sign off for now!
Liebe,
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| Best Friends <3 |
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| Family! gotta love em <3 |
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| Schwesters, and Beste Frendins forver <3 |
Katherine
Liebe,
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